February 2025, You Are Worth It

The affirmation “you are worth it" is both direct and matter of fact. And so important, because sometimes we allow our fears and insecurities to speak louder than the worth and identity we were given at birth.

February's photo is of the shallow to deep waters, rocks, and beach in the Semana Region of the Dominican Republic, with a beautiful brightness of sun breaking through a line of clouds. Throughout our lives, that's how our worth tends to function. As we grow, deal with setbacks, wins or losses, inches of gains, our worth fluctates back and forth. Just as we think low of ourselves, we often grow stagnant, unable to move or step into the fullness of all that we can be or achieve. So we just stop. At other times, we are afraid of success. Some people will make you think there is only one pathway to success or happiness and if your time has passed, it's just too late for you. We look at photos of people deemed beautiful, which makes us try to make changes so we can look just like them on the outside, while still feeling inferior on the inside. I remember the final time I committed to learn how to swim, after almost drowning earlier in life and after paying people to teach me. As determined as I was to learn so I could enjoy myself in water and be safe, I learned slower than most others (which made me feel bad), called myself stupid and slow, and wanted to just stop. Felt like I wasn't worth anyone spending time teaching me what I needed to learn. Much less, having to be in a swimsuit in front of people! I had to get over myself and trust the process and those working with me. My worth depended on my fears and abilities which I lacked in the moment, when I was fully capability of accomplishing those difficult and complex tasks. I needed to shift my mindset and be positive.

Worth comes from being still and acknowledging the inherit value given at birth. It's bigger than numbers or bank accounts. Has nothing to do with value commonly attached to diplomas, esteemed universities, or after marrying the right person. Worth does not decrease after you experience trauma, even though it's easy to feel worthless. Your worth doesn't diminish just because it that take you longer to heal from life's ills. It doesn't go away, when others are unable or unwilling to see you. A trauma survivor, I felt targeted and although I was musically gifted and multi-talented, my inner core suffered. It was dark and hard to dig out mentally.

Yet, when you know who you are and who created you, you can breathe or pause when you are tempted to think less of yourself. So, breathe, pause, cry and then reset. Correct those negative messages you are telling yourself. Get moving. It maybe helpful to journal and note the times you are speaking negatively over yourself to find patterns, triggers, or opportunities to heal. You are neither a mistake or worthy of less love, care, time, or attention. How do you show yourself compassion after being strong for so long? Schedule time for self. Speak life into your core. Encourage yourself. If there are skills you need to learn, seek out resources or opportunities to learn or practice them. When we have low self-esteem, we become vulnerable to allowing anything to happen. We make excuses for or tolerate situations, things, or people what we ought not to.

The oceanfront in the photo was and is a space of stillness and peace. Is your self-worth dependent on what's going on? Or is it unmovable?

Music is a powerful conduit to remind us of our worth. Consider this lineup: Alicia Key's "Superwoman"; Anthony Brown's "Worth"; Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive"; Destiny's Child's "I'm a Survivor"; Aretha Franklin's "Respect"; or The Script's "Hall of Fame," featuring will.i.am. Steady drum beats. Powerful lyrics. Music is that thing that can drive us out of the cave of despair and negativity. What are your go-to songs?

Here's to an awesome February! Stay tuned for March!

Stefany